New Kitchen and FFD

Here's what our kitchen looked like before
And how it looks now
Please ignore the table, chairs, stools and fridge that stick out like a sore thumb. I can't buy all new stuff only for looks when they are perfectly functional. That's what I tell myself to feel better anyhow.
And I still need to put photos in that frame and I have an idea for decor on top of the cabinets, but you get the idea at least.
***
On another note: Here are some photos from yesterdays' Family Fun Day


Steve looking mighty cool on that ice. (Celeste did not want to be pictured. Charity and I just hung out on dry ground.)

She did it

She's two months old today and weighs 10 lbs 10 oz. (4 lbs. 11 oz. gain since birth!) She's also smiling these days. She's such a good baby. I'm nuts about her.

New Living Room

This is what I was busy with this week...and last week too. (I decided to forgo the boring "before" pictures.) Newly decorated entry. ^ Archway with cool oversized clock shown below.
Finally got something put in that spot over the stairs. That was a life threatening task. Ladders and stairs are not a good mix.

Re-textured and colored the entry and two main living room walls. Pain in the buttocks!

10 working days mind you to slap that stuff on. Pictures aren't even making it look worth it. But in person I'm thinking it was worth it. It kind of reminds me of childbirth. You are dying while it's happening, but when it's all over, you're happy with the result.

I still want to put up some valances over the three living room windows on the other wall (not shown in these photos), but I've already gone over budge this month...

Run down

I'm hoping this is my last post with terrible cell phone pictures. We finally ordered a new camera and are anxiously awaiting its' arrival.

So here's a quick overview of the last couple weeks in our family.
Celeste started taking ballet. She took when she was 5 but got pretty burned out on it. She's finally got the desire to be a ballerina again and that of course is cool to me. I took her to her first class and watched. I got to talking to the owner while Celeste was there and by the time the class was over I was officially the assistant teacher to her class. I didn't plan on teaching ballet again, but am pretty happy about having the chance to be Celeste's teacher. We went to class together this past week and it was really fun being in there again and with my little girl. I could barely squeeze into my ballet clothes. Actually, I couldn't fit into the tights, but Celeste could. She's wearing them in this photo. I had to put on sweatpants instead. So help me, if it's the last thing I do, I'm gonna shed 20 lbs! Look what a cute ballerina she is. Last weekend we had the most fun going to St. George to see Emily run her first marathon! She did awesome and it got me wanting to run a bit more. It was so cute watching my Dad run along side her for a bit. That's him with his arms up like he's the one crossing the finish line. We were so proud of Emily!

Yesterday we all ran a 5K together. This was my first time running a 5k this year and it showed in my time. But at least I ran it all, if you can call it running.

I finished first in the family, (33 minutes), but only because Steve was pushing Charity in the stroller. Otherwise he would have whooped me. Steve, Charity and Celeste finished next.

Then Jonah finished,

Can you even see him there?^^
Eden finished next, and on her scooter :)

And after a long, long wait, Becca finally got her short little legs across that finish line feeling mighty proud of herself. The pride on her face was so adorable! This was Becca and Eden's first races.

Today we were able to hang out with a lot of the Bishop family. Tyler got ordained a Deacon today! It's always nice when Steve's parents come to town.

This week I'm gonna try and finish decorating my living room. I've worked on the painting for 3 days and probably need another couple. I guess It's a bit more than painting. It's really plastering a texture on that is colored. So far, so good. It's just time consuming.

That's all for now.

An Odd Anniversary

*If you are of a different faith, let me explain before you read this story. A "blessing" is when a Priesthood holder places his hands on your head and pronounces certain blessings upon you. Quite similar to Christ in his day. In our church, all worthy men are able to hold this Priesthood. My husband has it among many of my male friends and family.  I have complete faith in the power of the Priesthood.*

It was Conference Sunday last year that I had a life changing experience. I have told very few people about this and hesitate to write about it even a year later. But I believe it's time.
Many people may not get it, believe it or care. I write this for the rest of the people who may take something from my experience or just take interest in the intimate happenings of my life.


I'll have to start from the beginning though.
Growing up I was moody. When High School hit, I imagine I seemed to have exaggerated moodiness. When College came around it got much worse. When I was 18 and living in Philadelphia (very far from home,) I went totally nuts. I was fully psychotic. I've related to many people the funny and scary things that occurred during that experience so I wont repeat it here. I was sent to a psychiatrist by a friend who was caring enough to tell me I needed help. I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. That was 13 years ago.


For 11 years I'd been off and on various medications and trying to live as normally as I could. But it was super hard! My emotions could change on a dime and would be so intense and out of control. I had lots of ups and downs, but having Steve as my husband helped settle me more than you could imagine. The depression episodes were ugly. Countless times I wanted to die. I would have an incredible sense of self loathing that would overcome me to the point where I wished I could end it. And it's no secret that I almost accomplished that once. In that case, Steve literally saved my life. I hit rock bottom more times than I can remember.


Ok. So fast forward to a year ago.
I was really depressed. Again.
I was lying on the couch speechless and motionless with sorrow. Steve said he wanted to give me a blessing. Many times I'd been given blessings, but they usually only afforded me much needed peace and comfort temporarily. I had long since given up even the thought of being cured of Bipolar. He placed his hands on my head and gave me an incredible blessing. He told me that I would no longer be afflicted with Bipolar Disorder. I went from lying there limp, both physically and emotionally, to perking right up with shock. When he was done, I looked at him in disbelief and asked him, "Did you really say that I will no longer have bipolar?!" And he said he did, and knew it was true. It soon became evident to me as well that it was true.


You may be wondering how the last year has been for me. I am happy to report that this has been the best year of my life. You got it. The best. Not because the best things happened to me. Although plenty of good things have happened. It's just that I have been able to really feel what it is like to feel normal. Before I always felt like a mess on the inside and tried to appear normal on the outside. I still get emotional, but it's not the same. Before, something very trivial could happen that could propel me to such feelings of despair, that I'd want to die. Or worse, nothing would happen and I would just feel that way. I still can be sad like everyone does at times, but the way I handle it is still in the realm of reason and rationality. This is the first time that I have had a baby and didn't have to get myself going on a nice dose of antidepressants to prevent me from going suicidal with post-partum depression. I didn't have any of that this time around! I've been off all medications for a couple years now and feel better and stronger as time passes. Some may say it was just all in mind. But I know it isn't.

I feel so grateful to God that I was able to have such a blessing and for my husband who gave it to me. It truly was a miracle.

Our Week

Bowling for FFD yesterday was a hit. I think the bowling shoes are super cool. I want a pair to wear around town.

Now for the action photos.

Eden standing back to see what happens.

Jonah was awesome! He got a few strikes.

Celeste bowled with style.

***

Also this week, Jonah finally got all those Scout awards he earned way back when. His Bear badge, Religious Knot, Outdoors Activity Badge, Leave No Trace Badge, a Gold Arrow Point, two Silver Arrow Points, Progress beads, BB Gun Belt Loop and Archery Belt Loop.

He was so proud of himself! So proud in fact that when it was time to leave for Brigg's football game he told me to hold on a minute. The rest of us got in the car and waited. He came out wearing his Scout shirt all pimped out. He said he wanted everyone to see how awesome he is.

Brigg's game was great too! He is in High School Football. He got a few tackles and blocked a punt kick too. He is amazing. And we enjoyed the view from the stadium.

***

Also this week, I got to go to lunch with a couple of old high school buddies. It was great catching up!

***

Finally, I've got a problem... My garage is giving me anxiety and bugging me big time. I am almost ready to get rid of everything in it. I can't park in it. I can hardly walk in it for that matter. When we moved here all these boxes got sloppily packed and thrown in there and the organization overwhelmed me. Not to mention I felt too crummy when I was pregnant to deal with it. Now that I'm not pregnant, I keep having a hard time getting myself out there to face it.
I've got to buckle down and get it done. After a few pressure tactics on Steve, he's starting to be willing to help out with it. He actually worked on it most of the day yesterday. I was so grateful! But you still can't park in there. And it's still really bad.

I've decided that starting tomorrow, I will only allow myself 15 minutes of computer time each day until that garage is done. That gives me enough time to get a quick check on the outside world, but takes away my temptation to put off the garage doing something more fun. Like spying on all of your blogs and facebook. Cause you guys are much more pleasant than my garage that looks like it was hit by Hurricane Katrina.

But if I am being realistic with myself, I think this is gonna take a minimum of 16 hours to do. Since I don't get large blocks of time to work, this may take a couple of weeks or so. So I'll let myself play on the computer longer on Sundays since I'll take those days off from work anyhow.

Cuteness~Thrills & Chills

This is my favorite photo in this post. So I put it up top so that it will be the photo that shows up on all those bloggers who have a photo thumbnail on their feeds. Enjoy. (Painfully Cute) This little boy; we'll call him "Tiny Tim", is in our Primary class. To my delight, he showed up at church today with these extra legs. It was the highlight of my day.

He just cruised down the halls with these, just as happy as could be.

***

Now, as promised, the "Thrills". We went to the State Fair for Family Fun Day yesterday. I was wondering if I could throw Charity's diaper in here.

Told ya it was thrilling. **Rolling my eyes.** I've decided I'm not a huge fan of the fair. You could easily drop as much cash going there as you would going to Disneyland. You be the judge on what place is more worth the cost.

Cell phone pictures stink as bad as being in these buildings to see the livestock. We need to buy a new camera. We have about a $200 budget. Camera people, can you give us suggestions please?

No, I didn't dress my girls in leotards to go to the fair. We had just come straight from gymnastics. Cost to slide down this slide once, taking about 30 seconds: $2. We fell for it.

The kids reactions to the Shark Encounters show.

***

Now for the "Chills". I found some black widows in our garage this week. I've done a decent amount of online research about these freaky things and could give you a report that would give you nightmares.

It would include information about how the females will mate with the males and then kill them. But worst of all, it would talk about how a black widow spider bite could possibly kill your children. Yeah, I've learned what it means to live in fear.

But on to more happy thoughts. Like this lady eating her soup. You can see it was really tasty. And Steve and Charity too. We had a nice lunch date at my new favorite place to go out to eat. Zupas.

This is us at last week's Family Fun Day.

We went skating.

This is the best skating place I've ever been to.

They let you take strollers out on the floor.

And scooters too. And it wasn't busy.

Life is pretty good for us right now. Just please keep our family in your prayers. Pray that the spiders will all be killed asap. Thanks in advance.

Thoughts

I've been thinking a lot lately about my life. The other night I was thinking about my old dancing days a few years back. My life was kind of consumed with it. I owned my own little dance studio, I taught and I danced a little at Ballet Idaho too. Choreographing for people was a bit of a thrill for me as well. Especially when you see a piece of yours being performed on stage and the praise and awards your dancers get. And now the whole thing seems so strange to me. I will always have a special spot in my heart for dance in general, but honestly I don't miss it at all. Occasionally I will do a leap or a spin just out of the blue around the house. But I think that will be the extent of my dancing career from here on out. Not to mention I don't know if my body would ever allow it anyhow.
Then there's all those other random obsessions I've picked up here and there along the way. Like running. Currently after taking 9 months off, and gaining so much weight, I wonder if I'll ever be able to run like I used to either. Do I even want to do another marathon? I'm not so sure anymore. I guess I'd like to, but it's not the same.
Regardless, it doesn't really matter to me now. I feel like a changed person. I don't think I've ever in my life felt more excited about being a mom. And I've been doing it for over 10 years now. I had all these dreams of things I wanted to do and become for so long. Even after becoming a mom I still dreamed of doing those things someday. My mind would take me to the days when the kids were grown and I could...you name it. But now I am so in the moment --This moment. I'm loving it. I want to do this for the rest of my life. I know being the mother of young children couldn't last forever, but I've decided to relish this time. Maybe I made that decision a little too late. However, I'm not looking back - or rather, forward anymore. My kids are my mission in life. And I am so excited about it! This is what I want to be doing the very most. The fact that I've got 5 great kids who bring as much joy to me as they do, is just too good to be true. How did I get so lucky?

Face time

Celeste said to me the other day "Mom, I know what the hardest part of being a mom is. Not loving the youngest the most."
That's pretty telling of what's going on here isn't it? Don't worry, I gave her all the right answers and have tried harder to give those older kids as much love and affection as I can fit in.
So Celeste, Eden and Becca all are in gymnastics. The best part is their cute bodies in those leotards.
Celeste is in the front row on the right end. Eden is behind her. Becca is two over from Celeste displaying why she could never be a ballerina. She has absolutely no ability to turn her legs out.
Jonah started his Taekwondo career and ended it after only one class. It was a total joke and he hated it. I watched the class and thought it was stupid myself and didn't want to put him through that kind of torture again. (Much less myself.)

The owner/teacher seriously made those kids practice the same lame move the whole class. The simple move only deserved a 30 second practice. Super boring.

But Jonah is running each week with either Steve or I. On Saturday he ran 4 miles in 45 minutes. I thought that was pretty good!

Yesterday we went up the canyon with all the Utah Bishops. Steve worked :( But the kids and I had a great time roasting marshmallows and hanging out with the family.

Our camera gave up the ghost so these are cruddy cell phone pictures.

A couple of funny things said this weekend-

I wasn't in Sacrament Meeting Sunday but Steve said the Bishop got up and called Nursery teachers to form our 5th Ward Nursery Class. (So many kids!) Then he says, and I hope I'm getting this right, "It's ok. Keep having kids. We'll make more [nurseries]."

Also a conversation I had with Celeste.

She was holding Charity and admiring her. She says "She's so perfect."
Me: "I know just like you were"

Celeste: "Yeah, like I was."

Me: "Well, once we turn 8 we all start sinning."

Celeste: "8? You can't start sinning until you're 8?"

Me: "Nope."

Celeste: "But Becca is 6 and she knows when she's doing something wrong or not."

Me: "Yeah, but God doesn't count it as a sin until you're 8."

Celeste: Long pause, thinking. Then she finally says to herself in frustration, "All the things I could have done!"