About to Leave!

We leave in 36 hours for the airport. I can't even believe it. It just doesn't feel real! The past two weeks have been a different brand of crazy. I got the idea in my head that I needed to go through my entire house and reorganize and gut it out completely. All the drawers, cabinets, closets, etc... It took forever. I had the kids pile ALL (and I mean ALL,) of the clothes into an enormous mound in our Family Room. Do you people realize that we American's are like clothes hoarders? Holy crap! Why do we acquire so many clothes?! Then I spent all day going through each item of clothing, deciding on whether or not to toss it, take it to DI, or which kid needed it. Then I moved Eden into Celeste's room with her. I got Jonah's bunk beds set up. I got Andy and Hana's clothes all situated. I think we are pretty much set to bring those kids home! I just wish it weren't so far off. I spent about 6 entire days working on my house. I even put up shelves in my shelve-less laundry room. The whole thing was well worth it. I love an organized, clean home! I doubt it will be that way when we get back. But I tried.
I also got all of our travel preparations done. I got things all ready and situated for the kids here at home. Tim and Brenda are coming too to help out Molly with my kids. That was a huge relief! That was just too much for one person.
I got things all in order with my church calling. I feel fine about leaving that behind for a bit.
Things were good.
Then last night I had a panic attack hit. I was struck with intense fear. Fear about everything. Fear we would die. Fear the kids wouldn't be ok here. Fear we'd forget something. Fear the court hearing wont go well. You name it. Fear. And not just your typical fear. It felt like I was sitting on an airplane and getting ready to skydive off of it. An uncomfortable adrenalin rush. That kind of fear. I asked Steve last night if he was afraid and he was like "Not really." Lucky him! When I woke up this morning (earlier than normal,) the fear kicked right back in. It continued on for hours. I kept thinking "I can't handle this, I need to get my doctor to get me a happy, sedating pill or something before I lose it entirely!" To make matters worse, I get this email from the US Government, (I had signed up with them for travel notifications,) warning travelers to the city we are going to of some kind of international summit going on while we are there and that there are terrorists possibly plotting bombings, and bla bla bla. Yeah. Thanks US Government. I was really needing that little morsel of info.
Then I prayed. HARD. I listened to some comforting music and just laid there for a while. My fear went away. And for the past several hours, it's stayed gone. Totally. I feel peace, comfort, happiness, and excitement. It's all going to be OK. Not that things couldn't go wrong, but I am alright with that for now. I know and feel that God is watching over us. He is mindful of our little insignificant lives and His will be done in our case. I just need to sit back and enjoy the ride. And I will.