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Thursday, April 15, 2010

Tough Decision

We are really struggling with some big decisions in our family!
Now I post about this on here simply to examine our options and issues in a well thought-out, documented manner. (I will only discuss one of these issues we're grappling with at this time for now.) We welcome thoughts and opinions. However, we do know that these decisions will ultimately be up to us and what we feel is the right thing to do for our family. We've been thinking, discussing, and praying about these things for months now and still no answers. I'm starting to feel more pressure and impatience to make a decision!

First is the decision to continue homeschooling next year. I've been losing sleep over this decision! Just today the school called me and asked me to make a decision about whether or not I'd be re-enrolling Jonah and Celeste next year ASAP. I literally vacillate between sending the kids back to public school and homeschooling them next year daily. Some moments I feel like homeschooling has been such a great thing for them, and other days I feel like I really don't want to do it long term. It's tough. It's time consuming. It's a lot of responsibility!

Pros:
*Jonah is a much happier, emotionally stable kid when he's homeschooled. He's got some special needs with being Bipolar and ADD and I think I know him well enough and love him enough to meet those needs.
*I get a lot more time with my homeschooled kids.
*My kids that are homeschooled are a lot less stressed.
*My kids that are homeschooled have more time to just be kids.
*I get to teach them what I want and feel is important.
*They get to learn at their own pace and in a manner that best fits their personality and learning strengths/weaknesses.
*They don't have to suffer with bad teachers, time wasting in public school, stupid busy work and projects that are pointless, kids that bully or who are screwed up, bad language, being at school for 7 whole hours, then sent home with another hour or so of homework, etc...
*They are taught by a teacher that actually truly loves them deeply and has a vested interest in their eternal progression and happiness.

Cons:
*I have a LOT less time to myself or to do things that I might enjoy doing. This is my biggest concern by far. As great as the pros seem, this con is a very BIG con. Very selfish ~ but it is what it is.
*I don't get sick days or can't call in a substitute.
*Sometimes the kids don't feel like working and with the unconditional love they know I have for them, they can refuse to work without worrying too much.
*I'm not that smart. (You can see it in my blog posts.) I have to either get smarter, or rely on hired help to come in.
*They don't get to be with friends and other kids outside of our family as much.

Here are some arguments against homeschooling that I want to address.

The most common one you'll hear is that homeschooled kids are social freaks.
I've done a lot of thinking and researching about this topic. What I've found, is that statistically these kids are socially doing great in general. They are well adjusted, more confident, and can function in social settings just fine. In fact this is an argument you don't hear a whole lot about in the homeschool debate among professionals anymore because the people that know a lot about the research and the statistics, know that this really isn't an issue.
There are plenty of ways to get around this too by setting up ways to have your kid socialize with other kids. There are homeschool groups around here that do things together as well.
The kids that are social freaks are social freaks for other reasons. Namely, their parents are weird or the kid has anxiety or psychological problems (which is one of the reasons in which kids will be homeschooled,) among other reasons. (I admit that my kids are a little weird socially. But they've been in public school almost their whole lives. I wish I could blame it on their schooling, but I can't.)

The second argument against it is that kids that are homeschooled aren't getting as good of quality education.
This is another argument that among professionals that know the studies and statistics about academic achievement have found this issue to be a non-issue. Many homeschooled kids have higher IQ's, better ACT and SAT scores, are getting more college scholarships and so forth.
There are so many curriculum options for homeschool that the issue really lies in the parents. Are they disciplined enough to stick with it? Are they responsible enough to make sure that their child is getting the proper tutoring in all the essential subjects? You've got plenty of parents of public school kids who fail miserably in being involved and helpful in their child's education. On the flip-side, you're gonna have parents in the homeschool world who are failing as well.

So the past few months, I'd say that homeschool has been a success. But it's hard! I just don't know if I could do it long term. This was a trial run for us.
One thing is pretty certain though, is I don't want to have some kids in public school and some in homeschool. The reason for that is that Eden and Becca are jealous. They don't get as much of my attention as Jonah and Celeste do. When I'm homeschooling 2 kids & sending 2 kids to public school, I am dealing with the challenges of both concurrently. I have to teach two of my kids during the day. Then when the other two kids get home, I have to do homework with them. I still need to go to the school quite often and volunteer there and be involved. I still have to deal with the public school schedule and it steps on the toes of the freedom of a homeschool schedule. Really annoying.

What do my kids want?
Celeste- She goes back and forth. Last I heard, she wants to be homeschooled next year.
Jonah- DEFINITELY wants to be homeschooled and is very certain about it. He's worried about having to go back to public school.
Eden- She's not sure.
Becca- Definitely wants to be homeschooled.

Another factor in this decision is their desires. I know that if I choose something against what their desires are, I will be setting myself up for some added stress as they could rebel or fight, or be more distressed with what they have to do next year. Because of this, I have asked their input. We have researched it together. We have been praying about it. They feel a little responsible for the decision too.

So next year I am going to either:
1- Homeschool all 4 kids.
or
2- Send them all to school and pray all will go well as I will have a lot less control in their education.

What's your say on it?

11 comments:

Jen said...

I hate mothering decisions because for me, they always involve large doses of guilt. Pray hard! And, if you decide homeschooling it is and Eden does decide she would like public school we could always just take her off your hands. I love that girl to pieces!

Emily said...

Wow, that's a tough one. To me, it seems like your reasons for homeschooling outweigh your reasons to go with public school. My main concern would be Jonah. That kid really seems to be thriving now and is really happy. I wouldn't worry as much about the others. Either way, I am confident you will do what's best. You are doing an amazing job Amanda. I hope you are able to see your hard work paying off, because I do. I really enjoy reading Jonah and Celeste's blog posts. Keep up the good work! Good luck with your big decision!

Cristin said...

Been there, done that. Enroll them for next year and if you decide to homeschool again then take them out. NO biggie. I'll tell you this, having a real summer break will be totally refreshing and tends to get me motivated to homeschool again. We all need breaks. If you need a break in the middle of the week, take one. Your kids won't become stupid. Think about how much time is wasted at school just for getting in line??? seriously...think about it. If you feel overwhelmed see if there are any homeschool classes they can take during the day. At the local college here, they offer science classes for homes schoolers taught by future teachers. If you look, you'll find them everywhere. It'll give you a break once in a while and give them a chance to be with other non socialized kids (insert sarcasm).

Pray, pray, pray. If the answer doesn't come now, then you don't need the answer yet. There have been times that I didn't know what I was going to do until the week before school started, it was annoying but maybe I needed to learn a little patience and decide what it is I really wanted for myself and my kids.

As the kids get older it'll become a little easier, less need for one on one. If kids are interested, they'll work at it a little harder. Find what they love and let them explore it.

Whatever you decide will be the right thing no matter what other people think. Just saying...

Love ya and so impressed with all that you do. Your an amazing woman and mother.

Swasey family said...

FIRST, You are an amazing mother!I have joked about wanting to homeschool my kids too, its kinda nice sitting back and reading al my friends blogs on yes or no on the issues.I totally see all your points and do agree if you homeschool you would have to do all the kids (which would be more stressful)but help with jealousy issues I see that.after having my brother who was diagnosed with teratse this past year and seeing how people have treated him I feel for your Jonah its hard and people make it 10x harder.and as a parent that breaks your heart.hard decision....all your sides are VERY valid.Good luck!WHatever your decsion know the Lord will bless you & your family.

Memzy said...

I don't think you should do what anyone else says. Just what you think. One day at a time.

Hot Pants said...

I'd just do what Cristin said, sign them up and continue to debate it out with yourself. Tough call though. Good luck with it.

Jen and Brent said...

I think that it sounds like Jonah has real anxiety with the thought of going back to school. That would be a tough thing to have to send him back. I think that the benefits of homeschool outweight the cons. You are doing a great job teaching them and if you feel like it is something you should continue to do, I say do it. But, it really is hard for me to say what I think you should do. I know it is a lot of work and sacrifice to homeschool and I can see that would be very overwhelming. What does Steve think? Maybe go to the temple and pray about this concern while you are there. I know this is really hard for you. I hope you can figure out what to do soon and feel peace about it. Would your kids be okay with you just homeschooling Jonah? Sounds like he just may need that. I don't know. Good luck Amanda. You will know what to do soon and you will make the right decision!!!!

Kam said...

Wow, Amanda! That's a tough decision, for sure!! I love how you've mapped it out, weighing all the advantages to homeschooling, etc. I have a friend who has been homeschooling her four boys for several years now. She has a tutor come twice a week for a few hrs to do math and science with them, and that gives her a break to run errands and have a bit of free time. Plus she gets involved with a homeschool group for field trips and big projects (and "socialization" -- as you called it?) Still, it's a tough choice to make, huh? Do you feel like you've also carefully considered the advantages to a good public school? I'm sure you know what's out there, huh? Well, good luck with whatever you decide. You're doing a great job, and it's really great to hear that Jonah is doing so well. We sure love all you guys a ton!

E said...

I've never been in this position so I can't really give advice. I'm sure whatever you decide will work out best for you and your kids. Good luck and hang in there!

Dina said...

We need to chat!!

Rob-not-Bob said...

No advice here. I just want to say that your children are truly blessed to have such a thoughtful and loving mother. I'm sure your faith will guide you to the decision that will lead to the greatest good for all involved.