So I recently announced I was pregnant. Not anymore.
Miscarriages suck. Big time.
But I have to say that I've had 4 of them now. None of them were fun. The others I didn't take well at all. In fact those times, I felt kind of dead inside myself. Miserable. But this time, I am grateful to say, I am taking this just fine. I did have my tears and questions and felt like a mess. But it was momentary. And I don't think the tears are coming back either.
The only things that felt hard about this miscarriage was the actual physical side of it. Painful, messy, not fun.
The other thing is I've been on this major big-time emotional roller coaster the past while. First to get a surprise pregnancy. That had me very worried! Since I'm addicted to planning, I was trying to figure out a way to make this pregnancy work with my life. Then I got myself all pumped up about it. Because having a baby really is such a wonderful thing. And then after feeling all these big emotions and feeling like my life was being turned upside-down and so forth, I miscarry.
So anyhow, it really is all ok. I don't even feel like I need people to feel bad for me at all. So don't worry about it. Yeah it sucked. But it seriously feels just fine in my heart. Thanks for riding along this roller coaster ride with me! :)
You want to know what sucks like a million times more than this? The whole situation in Haiti. That sucks.
14 comments:
I think I've said this a million times, but I think you're amazing. I'll leave it at that.
The situation in Haiti does suck but I'm still sorry and I'm so glad your dealing with it so well.
Amanda, you have a positive attitude, and just think...you will get to have the chance to raise those babies in heaven...what a wonderful blessing.
Thoughts and prayers are with you.
Let me know if you need anything. I feel dumb not asking how you are doing on the phone today!
Amanda,
I am sorry to hear about this! :(
Sending hugs your way!
Jen
I am so sorry. No matter what it is still something hard to deal with. I am glad that you are making it through so well. Hang in there!
I would just like to echo Sharlynn. Know of our love and concern for you and your family! And yes, the situation in Haiti REALLY sucks!
So sorry, but am glad that you have found peace with it! Being positive is truly a blessing...stay strong! Love ya!
I'm sorry, Amanda! Hang in there and stay positive.
I really admire your strength. Keep doing what you're doing! Love ya.
Amanda, I had no idea any of that was going on in your life! I'm sorry you had that happen. If you need anything please let me know, you are always a wonderful neighbor to me and I'd like to be the same for you! You are a beautiful lady!
Amanda--
I know a little how you feel--a few years ago I had a ectopic pregnancy. It was kind of the same situation as yours--a surprise pregnancy, confused but then kind of excited. After we lost the baby (along with one of my fallopian tubes) I didn't feel the way I thought I would. It felt okay. And I realized that I never felt the same way (as my other kids) about the pregnancy from the beginning. It was really hard for some people to understand, and it really was an unpleasant experience, but I was okay emotionally. (My Taylor thinks your Charity is the cutest baby she has ever seen--she looks at your Christmas card everyday and raves about how beautiful she is!) Hope all is well with you otherwise!
So sorry! It hurts so much no matter what! Maybe Benjamin just got missing your new angel too much! Hang in there! You will be in our prayers. Remember these sweet babies are never really lost just away from us for a while. At least that's how I view it! Personally, I am looking forward to someday meeting my 4 sweet angels that we are at the moment without as to me they are definitely a part of our family.
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