Why everyone needs an escaped polygamist girl as a housekeeper

I heard about Ruth from my sister.  And boy was fate on my side!

Ruth recently escaped from Colorado City, a hard-core polygamist community.  She left in the night secretly.  And now she is living in the real world.  Near me :)  I love Ruth!  Let me tell you why.

Ruth was raised in a family with one Dad, a few mothers, and lots and lots of kids.  A few times recently I've had her come over to babysit for me because I actually thought she would be someone I could trust.  She has a tremendous amount of experience with kids and she is also an EMT.  She is so motherly and great with my babies, even rocking and singing to them for long stretches of time. She was the one in her family in charge of tending the many children.

My sweet husband, bless his soul told me last weekend that I can hire Ruth to come help me out with the housework each week.  I feel a little embarrassed saying this because I am so super spoiled...but he said she could come for 10 hours a week!  I about hyperventilated from the joy.  These last 6 months have been extremely physically demanding on me.  Keeping up with my house, kids, cooking, cleaning and laundry is more than a full time job.  It's harder than my marathon training was a few years ago. Trust me on this one. 


Ruth agreed to come three days a week for a few hours each time.  Oh help me, I feel so overjoyed about this!  She's come twice so far.  And what's great about her is that I feel only about 1% self-conscious.  If anyone else were to come help me clean or do laundry at my house, I would feel 100% self-conscious.  I'd probably clean it before they'd come to help me clean.  Ruth doesn't make me feel that way at all.  Why?  Because she has seen it all.  When I told her about the mountain of laundry I was buried in and how I wanted her to help me finish it, she responded with "Oh do I know allllll about laundry!  In my family we had tons of laundry we couldn't keep up with!"  I was feeling completely understood and validated.  Happy feeling for sure. 

When I asked her if she could clean my kid's bathroom, she was like "no prob!"  Any normal person would gag on the vomit involuntarily coming up their throat at the thought.  She has a strong stomach.  Like I said, she's seen it all.

I've had the pleasure to get to know a lot about Ruth.  She loves to talk about her former life.  Incessantly.  Do you know she absolutely loves children, horses, and dogs?  "Heavenly Father gave [her] a special love for them."  And she tells me all about her first hand experiences in her old polygamist community, her experience with Warren Jeffs, the religion, the people, the culture, etc.  It's way more fascinating than watching "Sister Wives" or a train wreck.  Aren't you jealous?


Another fun thing about her is watching her experiment with her new found freedom.  For instance, drinking iced tea, missing church, and wearing real clothes.  She only came here with one outfit.  Previously she wore only those thick, to the ground, long puffy sleeves, high neck dresses.  But you should see what she wears now!  She's comfortable in stuff I wouldn't want my kids to see me in.  Plunging necklines, pants with a mini-skirt over it, etc...  This girl is just fun to watch, listen to, and be around.  You may actually get to know her yourself because she was interviewed to be on a reality TV show for MTV that will follow girls who are exactly in her same position.  

And that is why every mom needs a housekeeper like Ruth.  She's mine though, so go find your own former polygamist. 

Santa?

I've come across something that I am not sure how to address with my Ethiopian kids. 
Santa.
All our older bio kids now know that Santa isn't real.  Yet today I was listening to them in the car tell Hana and Andy all about Santa.  And Hana and Andy were like "What!?  He brings gifts to all the kids?  You leave him cookies?..." etc...
I was just waiting for them to ask me why Santa didn't come to any children in Ethiopia.  I am glad they didn't.  But my mind was racing.  What if they ask me?  Do I tell them Santa isn't for real?  Or do I try to cook up some story to explain why he skips over Ethiopia?  Seems silly I know, but I just thought I'd throw that out there.

All about the day I went to Middle School

Our oldest child Celeste is a genius. She is just brilliant, and always has been. The problem is, this last year she has been a terrible student. She's lost interest in her classes and lacks the motivation to complete her work. She can do great on tests, but fails in her other academic responsibilities. This has been a huge disappointment to Steve and I. If she was stupid and got poor grades, we'd let it go. But she's too smart to get the grades she has gotten lately.
We've talked to her extensively about getting those grades up. The how's, the why's, the threats, the incentives, etc., etc. Still bad grades. We were desperately trying to help her out with this, but nothing we were doing was working. So I decided to go to school with her one day.
That day I got a babysitter and I just showed up at her school. I got her schedule from the front desk and walked right into her class. The look on her face when I stepped in that door...a total look of shock, embarrassment, pride, happiness, and shame, all mixed into one priceless expression. They were in math and moving around the classroom in groups solving various problems. I joined her group. It was actually fun. Then I followed her to the rest of her classes and sat with her in each one. I nagged her about taking notes, getting her papers and assignments turned in, staying on task, and so forth. We ate lunch together in the lunch room. Kids were asking why the heck I was there. I told them frankly. And surprisingly enough, they all reacted like I was pretty darn cool.
I asked Celeste how she felt about me being there. She was not really embarrassed when it was all said and done. But she did not like having me there breathing down her neck. She decided she would do better in school in order to avoid me showing up there again.
Overall, it was a great day.

New Discoveries

*We've recently discovered that Charity is ambidextrous. We had our suspicions for a while, but they recently got confirmed.
*We recently learned from Andy that he was supposed to be adopted by a different family. From Spain. But they backed out. He said he's glad they did.
*Just the other day Celeste shared with Steve and I some very powerful personal spiritual experiences she had that blew us away. We couldn't believe she hadn't told us about them until now.
*This school year we've witnessed our Jonah become the biggest brainiac in the family. He is in love with learning. He is a straight "A", driven, overachiever, student. We're very proud! Him and his friend built a pretty awesome robot together that can do some things I never thought an 11 year could program a robot to do.
*Hana is possibly the most popular 1st grader at school. She's bursting at the seams with friends. Also, she had many teeth that had to be pulled upon arriving in America. She's lost a couple more since then. This girl can eat an apple with just a few random teeth left in her mouth. Amazing!
*We've witnessed Samuel (our baby who was born 3 weeks early) grow bigger at 10 weeks old than any of our other children were at his age. It didn't come as a surprise the way he eats. He still must eat every 1-3 hours, around. the. clock.
*Eden has shown us lately that she has a natural ability to reason and calm down an upset child in the family. She can sometimes be better at it than Steve or I.
*Becca loves her sister Hana and is so good with her. However, we've recently discovered that those two like each other so much, they even accompany each other to the bathroom. Even when one of them is taking a big nasty dump. We had to put the kabosh on that one.

Hypothetical Questions

Celeste asks me these all the time. They are often hypothetical questions about having children or money. For instance:
"Hey Mom. If you could have millions of dollars and 100 kids or have just the kids you have now but live in India, which one would you choose?" I know. Strange question.

So it got me thinking today about this hypothetical question:
If you had to choose to keep just one of your children, which one would you choose? I honestly couldn't answer that question. I love them all so much. But there is something I favor in each of my children.

I am sure these will change, because it hasn't always been this way. But for now,
Celeste is my favorite child to talk with.
Jonah is my favorite child for a good laugh.
Eden is my favorite child to be a good socialite with people we come in contact with.
Andy is my favorite child to experience new things with.
Becca is my favorite child to motivate me to be Christlike.
Hana is my favorite child to be silly with.
Charity is my favorite child to observe because of her cuteness.
Samuel is my favorite child to snuggle and calm me down.

As hard as it can be at times to be a mom, I do feel so lucky for each of my children. I didn't know I could love people this much.

So emotional!

I think the majority of my friends and family are aware of my sister and brother in-law being in Ethiopia right now for their adoption. Having them there has been so emotional for us. For our entire family. Steve and I are obsessed with watching for updates. Our kids, especially Hana and Andy are anxious for any news, photos, videos, or to Skype. They cannot wait to have their old friends, now cousins, in the US with them. Emily's kids, (Nate and Nyah,) and my kids lived in the same orphanage. In fact, Hana's bed was right next to Nyah's. And Nate's was right next to Andy's. They did everything together and love each other very much. I can't wait till they can see each other again.
Emily and Rob's kids are so wonderful. We've spent some time with them and they are very sweet and happy. They are smart and funny. They are going to be a great addition to the Matson family and everyone is gonna love them to death. I can't wait to hold and love on them again.
Seeing my sister and brother in-law go through this has been like reliving our own adoption. It brings back so many memories and emotions. It's such a difficult, painful, joyful, and all around emotional thing to go through. The months between going to court and actually having our children home, were tremendously hard. It was the most difficult part of the entire adoption because we had met the children, fallen in love with them, but we couldn't bring them home yet. I hope that Emily and Rob have a smooth court to Embassy process. They will need plenty of support.
I'm so happy for them to experience the joy we have experienced through adoption. It is very worth all the work and money.

Jonah's letters

Jonah cracks me up! One of his favorite things to do is to write letters to people or companies. He often gets letters back. He has written to the President, NASA, and various companies. The letters he has written he often doesn't show us. He will just write it, and mail it without a word about the whole thing. Then at times I pick up the mail to find a letter addressed to Jonah from some random company. They often get his name wrong. I think it's so funny that his name is messed up so often by these people. Recently I found a package from the White House and a package from NASA for Jonah. The contents of the packages were pretty cool and it was total fuel for his fire.
So like I said, I often don't know who or what he's written to people, so sometimes it makes the return letters even funnier.
Yesterday he got a letter from Post Cereal Company.
This is what it said:
"Dear Mr. Bishoy,
Thank you for your inquiry regarding Parsley Flakes Cereal.
Unfortunately, this product is not a Post product so you may want to check with Kellogg's or General Mills to see if they produce the product you are looking for.
We do have many cereals for you to enjoy. Please visit www.postcereals.com to find out about our other fine product..."

Classic.

Head Lice

So. Funny story. Well, now it is, but it wasn't that funny to me when it happened.
On Sunday I was busy getting all the kids ready for church. At some point Charity got a hold of some soap and put it in her hair. I waited to get her ready until the last. In fact, we needed to be at church in just about 15 minutes and when I got to her, she had the soap all in her hair. As yucky as her hair was, I didn't have time to bathe her and get it out. So I just brushed it into the standard pig tails and we left for church.
For 7 weeks since we had a newborn, we all went to the first hour of church together trying to keep anyone from coming near our baby. Then either Steve or I would quickly rush out before the closing prayer so people wouldn't have a chance to gawk at him. Charity too. We didn't want her getting sick in Nursery and then getting our baby sick.
So this was the first week we decided to send Charity back to Nursery. I went home with the baby and Steve took her to Nursery. Then he went to teach his Primary class. Well, a little while later the Nursery leader brings Charity to Steve and says that she has a messy diaper and dirty hair.
Yeah. You read that right.
So Steve takes Charity home to me and there he changes her diaper. No messy diaper. Then he gives her a bath and cleans up her hair. We talked about how that was a bit odd for them to do that. (Kick her out saying she had a messy diaper when she didn't, and dirty hair.) But we just brushed it off. Well after church we get a call from our Bishop. He says he's calling about the incident in Nursery. Steve's like "What incident?"
The Bishop proceeds to tell us that they kicked Charity out of Nursery because of her head lice. We were like head lice? What the? We tell him we were pretty sure she didn't have head lice. To which he asks us to please double check and think about who she's been playing with recently, etc., etc... So we double check. Of course. No head lice.
There's a lot more I can say about it. But that's where I'll leave ya.

oops

In the last post I had a typo. Of course I am not infinitesimally grateful for Samuel. That would be sad. I'm infinitely grateful. Oopsie.

Oh Baby

Just a little update on our littlest. He's 8 weeks old today!
He is pretty much my favorite person right now. (Besides Steve.) I love holding him and kissing his squishy cheeks. I love how when an unnamed preteen gets a little too sassy, I can sweep him up and go hide in a quiet room and suddenly feel happy again. Babies are the best medicine. He's perfect and I am infinitely grateful he is here! Being pregnant is the pits. P*I*T*S! I hate it! But the 9 months of misery was totally worth it.
He still doesn't sleep the greatest. But it has improved for sure. He eats at 10pm, 2am, and 6am. We are anxious for the feedings to stretch out further. But we're surviving.
He doesn't cry too much. Just the right amount. Enough crying to keep from getting neglected and not enough to make us cry. Perfect.
Did I ever mention why we named him what we did?
Samuel Timothy Bishop.
When we lost baby Benjamin 3 years ago, we made kind of a deal with God. We told him that if He would bless us with another healthy baby boy, we would name him Samuel after the Biblical boy prophet. The prophet who was the son of Hannah. Hannah was unable to have children and told God if He would give her a son, she would raise him to be His servant basically. And she did. And Samuel did become the prophet. Steve and I told God that we would raise our boy to serve Him too. I am not expecting him to become a prophet someday, but this baby is special.
The name Samuel means "Asked of God."
The name Timothy means "To honor God."
And our Samuel was asked of God to honor God. Perfectly fitting isn't it?
And another huge incentive on those names as you probably already know, they are my brother's names. Two great souls :)

Some pros and cons we've experienced with our adopted kids

Lets start with the cons that we've experienced.

*You're suddenly family with someone you have spent literally maybe a handful of hours with. Live together, eat together, do everything together and you just met. There's a big learning curve as you get to know each other.
*Your former orphan/s need to learn to trust you. This is a painful process for all involved at times. We are so grateful to know that this lesson has definitely been learned by our adopted children now.
*Your former orphan/s need to learn how to live and act like a member of your family. Again, this can be a painful process too. Another lesson we are grateful has been learned.
*This child who has known nothing but deprivation in almost every regard, now has a loving family, a comfortable home, and all the food they need to be healthy and satisfied. They go from nothing- to so much. But then they have to learn that the sky is not the limit. Just because you have food, doesn't mean there's an endless supply of food. Just because you have a car, does not mean we can have 5 cars, all fancy, like another family they might see. Just because we have money, doesn't mean we are filthy rich. Just because we scrimped together enough money to fly to Ethiopia doesn't mean, we can go to Disneyland anytime soon. Just because we love them does not mean we can give them their way all the time. And the list goes on and on and on. We didn't expect this lesson to be an issue at all, but it was. Fortunately, they get this one now too. Big emotional sigh of relief.
*The countless lessons to be learned about appropriate behavior: in a home, at church, at a concert, a movie, in a restaurant, with guests, at school, as an American, as a Christian, as a friend, in someone else's home, and so on. You have no idea how many lessons our children have learned in the last 5 months unless you've actually been through something like this yourselves. This can also be considered a pro, because in many ways it has been fun to witness them learning some of these things.

Some of the pros we have experienced:

*We absolutely adore our new children.
*They make us smile and laugh all the time.
*They are so smart and seeing them learn and grow so rapidly is one of the most remarkable things we've ever witnessed.
*Witnessing their "firsts" are almost more fun than seeing a baby do their "firsts". For instance, their first Halloween was my favorite Halloween I have ever had. Actually, I hate Halloween. But this year, I actually really liked it! And the day Hana brought home her first friend birthday party invitation from school...I smile every time I think about it. She was SO excited! And she burst out, "Mom! Will you call and say 'This is Hana's mom. Hana is coming to the party!' " Their first time swimming, biking, going to a store, a museum, etc. This has probably been one of my most favorite parts of having these children.
*Witnessing their emotional progress (especially Andy's) has been incredibly rewarding. Some may have thought that he had too much baggage and was too old to overcome his issues. But it's not so. He can learn. He has. He is really gonna make something of himself and have a successful, meaningful life. And being a part of that brings me more pride than almost anything else I have ever done in my life.

The Good Life

A few weeks ago, Steve and I would cheer at the end of the day "We did it!" Days were so full and such a challenge, we felt so accomplished at the end of each day. But with Samuel sleeping a bit more, and getting use to our routine, things feel a lot easier. Things feel totally do-able now, which is a great feeling. Samuel is now one month old and thriving. He is 10 lbs now and a total porker. We are all really enjoying him.

Hana and Andy have been here for over 4 months now as well and they are doing great. We had one very difficult month with Andy, but the last month with him has gone pretty well. They have learned so much, and progressed so much that we feel such joy and satisfaction with how far they have come. It's incredible how much their English has improved and they are doing fantastic in school and in every other regard.

The other day I took this photo of Becca and Hana sleeping together. These girls are so cute together. Such buddies. They each have their own beds, but they like to sleep together.
I took photos of the kids school photos with my iphone. But they are still cute. Look how adorable Hana is.

You should have seen the grin and pride in Andy's face as he brought me his very first school photo package. It was priceless.

We made cookies with the kids and it was MESSSSSY. But they had such a good time. Andy and Hana had never done anything like that before.

Told you it was messy.

Andy with his soccer team. He's really enjoying it despite all the games they've lost this season. We sure enjoy watching him play. He plays hard and is pretty good.

Another shot of sweet baby Samuel. He's a good baby.

This is gonna sound stupid, but I haven't been the biggest fan of my wedding ring in recent years. In fact I bought a cheap ($20'ish) replacement that I've worn a lot more. But I just started wearing my ring again and I was looking at it when I realized something. It has one large diamond in the center and 8 tiny diamonds around that one. For the first time I could see that it is the perfect representation of my family. The large diamond representing my husband and the 8 diamonds, our children. I love my ring now.

I am happy. We all are. What a blessing.

An interview with Andy

stats

*Stats for the week*

Approximate number of loads of laundry done this week *13
Approximate number of loads of dishes done this week *12
Approximate times I've swept the kitchen floor *21
Approximate diaper changes this week *70
Trips to the school this week *14
Approximate arguments I've had to break up between children *80
Amount of times I've had to clean up a child's vomit *4
Getting spit up on *6
Getting pooped on *1
Trips to the doctor *2
Time outs we've had to enforce *18
Meals cooked *7
Middle of the night feedings *16
Amount of times the living room has needed vacuuming *14
Actual amount of times I've vacuumed the living room *7
Calmed a crying child *too many
Late night "sanity" walks with the hubs *5
Hours dealing with homework *7
Backed into a kid's bike while pulling out of the garage *3

We are on our 3rd week of having 8 children and I'm getting a system down to tackle it all. I think it's a system I could get used to. Once our adorable sweet little Samuel is sleeping through the night, I think I will feel like a million bucks and be able to do all I've got with a little more vigor. But for now, I feel weary. WEARY! Exhausted, both emotionally and physically.

Don't get me wrong, I think this has sounded all too wimpy and whiny. Which it is. Let me say that I really do feel blessed. I love love love love my life! I wouldn't have it any other way. Cross my heart and hope to die! (Except for maybe a house with a 3 car garage and 3 full bathrooms. I know; I'm spoiled.)
My favorite part about my last week I would have to say is how many times I've heard someone tell me "I love you." I think my kids were sensing my fatigue and were doubling their efforts to give me a little boost. When you have 9 people that love you and 8 of them telling you so multiple times a day, you can't help but feel joy. And the hugs and kisses...I can never get enough of them. Especially from my sweetheart who has rocked it lately. I'm a lucky girl. But boy am I tired!

Baby Samuel's Newborn Shots (6 days old)

My very talented friend Jen Korth took these beautiful photos of baby Samuel. I love them! Check her out if you are looking for a great photographer.

Baby Samuel

All 8 Bishop kids together at last. (The kids meeting their brother for the first time in the hospital.)
And this photo below is my favorite of the little guy. 4 days old.
1 day old.
I think he looks like my little brother Sam did when he was a baby.
Coming home from the hospital.

Samuel is doing great. He is such a good baby. He's caused us no worries or problems. Our only challenge now is getting use to round the clock feedings. The other kids all seem to be taking to him well. We worried about Charity being jealous since she's been so spoiled, but she has nothing but love for her baby brother.
We are so grateful he made it here safely and we just adore him.

Becca's Birthday and Baptism

Becca had her birthday about a month ago now. She and I had a great date together to celebrate. She turned 8! As a result it was time to be baptized. Over Labor Day Weekend she had her special day. Here she is with her Daddy. Yesterday she said to me, "Mom, I know what makes me happy now." I said "Oh yeah, what?" She says, "Spending time with Dad." To which I reply, "That makes me happy too."
She loved her baptism! She was so excited that she kept getting fits of the giggles. It's funny because I remember being the same exact way when I had my baptism.
Becca is such a sweetheart. She wants to be good so badly that when she slips up, she can be crushed. She loves her family, and she loves Jesus and Heavenly Father. We are so proud of her.

My labor, delivery and something else, really gross, personal, and exciting

This is for those people out there that actually enjoy reading a birth story.
I'm gonna try and make this brief without too many details.

At 30 weeks into my pregnancy I was having high blood pressure. I spent one evening in Labor and Delivery that week while they tested me, the baby and monitored things. It got a little better at 31 weeks and stayed ok until week 35 when it went up again.
From 35 weeks to 37 weeks it was high, but not really dangerously, and it wasn't preeclampsia. (No protein in urine, organ damage, etc...) It was just Gestational Hypertension/High Blood Pressure. At 36 weeks, I spent a couple of days in Labor and Delivery for more monitoring of me and baby. Again, not an emergency situation, just watching things closely. They told me that at 37 weeks, if it was still this way, they would take the baby.
I hit 37 weeks this Wednesday. I went in to see the Doc and my blood pressures were pretty high. 160's/110's. They sent me down to labor and delivery to DELIVER! Woohoooo! I was feeling like real crud and was so anxious to get the little guy out of me!
They started me that night with pitocin. Unfortunately he kept flipping all over the place. He seemed to prefer being breech (feet first.) The doctors were telling me they would try and turn him, but if it wasn't successful, a C-section would be necessary. They tried to turn him, and no success. The turning procedure is NO FUN! They tried to turn him again a few hours later and it worked. Phew! But he fought to keep flipping around. They put a strap on me to try and hold him there and broke my water hoping that would make it much harder for him to move. Pitocin was still going strong in efforts to keep the little guy pushed down with the contractions too. I had an epidural thank goodness for those flipping sessions, the water breaking and all this pitocin I was getting. But unfortunately I spent almost 24 hours with very very little progress in the labor. This was another concern because once your water is broken, you must deliver within 24 hours or you have to have a C section. Finally I was dilated to 6. When I hit 6 cm, it seemed like about 15 minutes or so and I was suddenly dilated to a 10. Time to push! We were so glad I wouldn't need a C section! The doctors and nurses came in. I pushed for only about 10 minutes. He was out. He looked awesome! Steve and I were THRILLED! Immediately we were thanking God for this beautiful baby who we are still to this day wondering how I managed to conceive. He was not planned for and the fact that I got pregnant with him seemed like a miracle, or not possible. God definitely wanted this kid here. But having said that, I will say that I am determined to not go through another pregnancy again!!! About 30 minutes after delivery, I happily went to the operating room for a tubal ligation. Permanent sterilization. The procedure was no big deal. Quick and easy for the doctors. I was awake, with my epidural. Here's the parts I hated:
The room was FREEZING! Like see-your-breath freezing. I was shaking and shivering the entire time.
There were 2 or 3 doctors there. One doctor along with one resident and possibly a med student. I think this because the main doctor was giving a real play by play of the entire procedure. "You pull the tube out of her a lot more, an inch or so more...", "cut her like this..." , etc... It was totally totally grossing me out!
I could feel so much of what they were doing. I could feel the knife cutting me, I could feel the tubes being pulled up out of my belly and so on. It didn't hurt at all, I could just feel it and that totally totally grossed me out too.
Here's the part I loved:
When it was over I was inwardly jumping for joy that my childbirthing years were over!
So now Samuel is here safe and sound! We are beyond thrilled. This baby makes us intensely happy!
That's about it folks.

My husband is a super hero. Really.

I always knew I married a very good man. I have always really been impressed with him. But over the last few months I have truly been blown away by this guy. He has so much pressure on him. He's got a needy, high maintenance wife. I hate to say it, but it's true. And he's got 7 very active children that have lots of needs themselves. He has to provide for all of us financially, which is no easy task. He protects us. He has a demanding career that he has to keep up with. He serves in our church. He helps me with all the household stuff when I need him to.
On Sunday I was watching this man spend hours and hours with his 7 children just trying to get some good one on one time with them. He was reading to them, teaching them, holding them, playing with them, and just hanging out with them. It really isn't uncommon for him to spend much of his free time this way. He stayed up late last night so that he could go to each of their rooms at bedtime and talk with them and pray with them and so forth. That was after he took me out on a great date for my birthday. And as I was thinking about all this, the memory flashed in my mind of Steve a couple of years ago when we were discussing whether or not to adopt or have any more children. He was afraid he might not be a good dad if he had more children. And the memory of that conversation made me laugh because seriously this guy is rockin the Dad of 7 kids thing. I would even venture to say he's a better Dad now than he was when we only had 5. He is the most unselfish person I know. He takes very little time for himself and he has never ever acted or seemed resentful of that. Yet at the same time, he is ever mindful of me and my needs; which sometimes are to get time for myself.
I am madly in love with him. I love him more than I ever have in the nearly 14 years since we've met. I am in awe of him. I wonder how he does it. And the only explanation I can come up with is he's a super hero. I am so very grateful to be his wife. I don't know how in the world I managed to get this guy, but boy am I glad I did!

A fantastic FFD

We all had such a wonderful time at this Family Fun Day activity. We started out with a service project. We took the kids to purchase toys for homeless children, then took them to a homeless shelter for donation. The kids were all so cute about it. Then we went to Temple Square and went through the visitors center where we walked through a display about the Church's humanitarian work. Really cool. We also went through a really neat family presentation. Finally a walk through the grounds. Awesome day.

Charity Turns 2

These are a couple of photos the kids took of Charity on her birthday. Oh, my goodness I love this girl! She is so much fun. She's got us all wrapped around her pinky finger. And speaking of fingers, she is still keeping a few of them busy much of the time. Doing this...
Classic Charity. Two fingers in the mouth, and one in the nose with the other hand. Yummy.

Challenges

The first 9 weeks of Andy and Hana being here were awesome. Better than we ever imagined. Then suddenly something happened with Andy. It wasn't all the time, but he started to have these terrible, miserable, nightmarish, scary tantrums. The first time it happened, I was so scared. But after talking to some people that have experienced this kind of thing, and looking in to the situation further, we came to realize that his behavior wasn't just fairly typical, but basically to be expected. Here's how it was explained to us in the briefest way I can explain:
Andy has lived a very traumatic life. He was born into deplorable poverty. He was loved by his family and he loved them back. But just at the age where he can begin to comprehend life and remember things, he witnesses the illness and death of both of his parents. At a young age, he loses the people he is attached to and who cared for him. In comes his teenage brother who previously hadn't even lived with the family, to care for him. This brother isn't necessarily mature or affectionate like a biological primary caregiver would be. He can't handle the pressure. What else could you expect from a teenage boy? It's a situation many adults would not be able to really handle. Andy attaches to him and trusts him. Then one day this brother tells him he will be taking him to the zoo, and instead of the zoo, he leaves him at an orphanage. He loses the next person he loves and has attached to and depended on. At this orphanage he lives for a few years where nobody there truly loves him as a biological caregiver would normally do. Then Steve and I come along and take him home to join our family. He likes it here. He enjoys his comforts. But soon, he starts to love and attach to us. Which at that moment, this child who has lost everyone he has ever attached to and loved, gets terrified. Will he lose these people too? In fear that he will, he pushes us away and tries to emotionally protect himself by not attaching to us as well.
When a child goes through something very traumatic, they can sometimes be stuck at that level of emotional maturity they were at when the trauma hit. For instance, if at the age of 4 a child witnesses the death of their parents, they can emotionally stay at the age of 4 despite their physical growth, until they can fully heal from that experience in a proper manner. This seems true for Andy.
Not to mention he has probably not had consistent and proper discipline at all in his life. We went through tantrum phases with all of our children. But they had years with us to learn gradually how to live as a family and what is proper and good, and what isn't. Andy has all that to learn now at the age of 9.
He has had 6 very unpleasant episodes in the last few weeks. But Steve and I have come to understand this child so much better and have been able to learn to handle and work with him. Andy has gotten better. He still has a lot to learn though. It's been a growing experience for all of us. We've grown closer to him and our love and determination to dedicate ourselves to helping him learn and grow and live a happy, successful life has increased tremendously. And the last several days we've seen a significant change in him that has been so encouraging and touching to see. He's had some bad days, but on his good days, he has more than made up for the bad stuff. He's a total sweetheart. I don't want to sound arrogant here, but I know he loves us. He is showing us he loves us. It's very sweet. When we go places, he wants to hold my hand. He wants to sit by me or Steve at church or other places we go. He loves just being near us, talking with us, being held and told he is loved and wanted. He wants to please us. He feels loved and he is letting himself open up to being loved and loving people back. It's a beautiful thing to see. I'm sure the challenges are not over with this boy, but I am sure he will be fine. I am sure he is very special and he has much he is destined to do in his life. We love him so very much!

Below is a little something Andy made for me for my birthday. I treasure it. I think it's meant to say "Happy home" not "Happy bome" :)

School Starts

Hallelujah! I seriously had doubts whether or not I was gonna survive this Summer. But I somehow did. Here the kids are on their first day back at school. They started nearly a week ago and it has been wonderful. Call me a bad mom for saying so, but I'm just being honest here.
For some reason the caption on Celeste's photo isn't showing up. She started the 7th grade this year.




Everyone has been asking me how the Ethiopians are doing at school. And they are doing great! They seem to like it just fine. They have lots of catching up to do. But they are smart kids and I think eventually they will get there.

Hello. My name is Amanda and I'm a...couponer

Never thought those words would ever come out of my mouth, but they sure have.
A few years back I tried the couponing thing. I was terrible at it. And I was noticing I was spending more money than saving because I was buying a bunch of junk I would have never bought just because it was a good deal. It took a lot of time too. I eventually came to the conclusion that couponing just wasn't for me.
Groceries have gotten much more expensive the last couple of years. And to add to that, in the last two years our family has grown by 3 more people with a 4th person soon to arrive. Plus, we just funded a very very expensive adoption. So I was feeling the pressure to save our family some real money.
Someone I knew was teaching classes on couponing and I took it.
It's been a few months since I started couponing and there's definitely a learning curve, but I have my own system down and I am actually enjoying it. I get this rush when I rack up this large grocery bill, then hand the cashier my stack of coupons and watch the price drop significantly. I'm not an extreme couponer and I don't save insane amounts of money. But lately, it's been about $100 off of each shopping trip. Which for us, $100 a week of savings is a big deal. So yeah. I'm a couponer.

Forever Family

On Tuesday August 2nd, our family went to the Temple. Andy and Hana were sealed to us for all eternity. All of our children were there in the Temple with us. It was an incredible experience. We all felt so happy. To me it was as happy as my wedding day. My Grandfather was the sealer and he did a wonderful job. We had family and friends there too. The children all really liked the beauty and peace there. Andy and Hana have talked about it several times since, and have said they really liked it. I don't know what else to say about it here because it was just so special for us that words cannot describe it.

That day was also Hana's birthday. She turned 6 years old. She went on a date with me that day and after the temple we celebrated with lots of family too. She is such a great addition to our family. We all love her so much. Anyone that has met her knows what a delightful child she is. She's so affectionate and accepting. She's smart and energetic and funny. My favorite thing she does now is the way she will act out stories she wants to tell because she doesn't know enough words to communicate an entire story in words so she'll act it out. It's adorable. It was so fun watching her enjoy her special day too. She's been asking me since if she can have another birthday and if she can go to the Temple on another birthday. What a cutie.