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Sunday, August 10, 2008

Soliciting Friends

I am having a little bit of a hard time adjusting to our new area. I remember this happening when we moved to Idaho 7 years ago too. Our new ward is not the most friendly and I am not the best about meeting new people.
This is kind of a tough time for our family. We have so many things that we are dealing with and I need a friend! What I really could use is a good therapist, but unfortunately money is one of those things we are dealing with.
When I was a little girl, I remember going door to door in search of a friend. I would knock, then clasp my hands behind my back and rock back and forth on my heels in a little happy dance. When the door opened, I would ask in a really cute voice "Do you have any kids that can come out and play?" I didn't know any of the people and I had no problem doing this. I don't ever remember really making any friends doing this. But I still walked away with an ego completely unscathed.
Should I try that now?

19 comments:

TimW8 said...

The funniest thing happened the other day. We were sitting watching tv when we heard this little knock at the door. I opened the door and there was this tiny kid maybe 3 or 4 years old and he asked, "Can your kids come out and play?" I felt so bad when I had to tell him we don't have any kids. At least your close to Anna now. Hang in there Manda.

Jennifer P. said...

Well, you always have us blog friends, right :)?! That's who I've been doing the majority of my "hanging out" with lately--and it's not as bad as it sounds! Actually, I will keep you in my prayers. I know how hard it is going to a new ward. Something about the Franklin ward made it easier to make friends, but I think it's probably the exception to the rule.

At least your house thing isn't as complicted or nasty as it first appeared!

You are a great, funny, talented girl---never forget that :)!

E said...

They're not unfriendly, they're just shy. They're not used to new people moving into their Ward, and they've forgotten what to do. It's Utah.

But, winter, spring, summer, or fall; all you gotta do is just call...

Emily said...

I know exactly how you feel. We've been here for 4 years and I've yet to make a really close friend. Be happy you at least have Anna close. I would do just about anything to have one of my sisters a few miles away!

Robyn said...

I know it's hard making new friends. I lived in Idaho for a long time before I started to make friends. You're so friendly and outgoing that I'm sure it won't take long for people to be aware of your charm and want to get to know you better. Maybe you could throw a neighbourhhood barbecue like you did after you moved to the house on Nichole. And once the kids start school you will be able to meet some of the other parents. Besides, you need to give yourself more time. You haven't been in Utah for very long. Hang in there.

Mikki said...

Well, you can knock on my door anytime. I have a hard time putting myself out there to make new friends and once I have friends it takes awhile before I consider them close friends. I would definitely have a hard time moving to a new place because of that. Good luck, I hope that you meet some nice, friendly people soon.

Anonymous said...

Well obviously I suck. My internet has been sketchy and I just checked your blog and you are lonely and I am sooo close. Lets hang out. I want to hang out lots (or maybe all the time Shawn is starting job #2 on Wednesday and will be working from 8am to 10:30pm) but I was pacing myself so as not to overwhelm you.

Anonymous said...

Also I love you!

amber said...

We've been in our house since June and I still haven't really met anyone in our ward! You can stop by our house anytime you're down in utah county!

Cristin said...

(HUGS) I totally know how you feel, except your much braver than me. :) I think the older we get the harder it is to make really good friends. My close friends are the wives of my husbands best friends from high school,but that's probably the only way I would have made good friends.

I hear ya about money and therapist...why do they have to be so expensive??? I need a therapist to deal with the cost of a therapist.

Diane said...

Ha Ha! I did that as a child too! Go for it!

;)

Dalana and Mark said...

I'm sorry Amanda! I agree that it's much harder to make close friends the older you get. Remember that you still have all of your old friends, just not close. Maybe take advantage of spending time w/ the family that you're near on both sides. As you get more involved w/ things you're bound to get to know more people. LOVE YOU GUYS!

Memzy said...

I bet they are just intimidated by you---your beauty, gorgeous kids, amazing talent. I'm surprise they haven't run away crying at feeling inferior. ::wink::

You'll do great Amanda.

willmottfamily said...

Okay - 5 things.

1. You just go there.
2. You still have the same friends you have laways had. CALL them.
3. We have moved more time than we have been married years. The first few times for me were so hard because I didn't make friends easily. After about the 4th move, I just started putting myself out there. I'd introduce myself to anyone anywhere (church, the library story hour, whatever). Some people responded well and became my best friends, and some didn't, but that's okay. I liked your door-to-door option, but I don't think you need to go that far. :)
4. Find groups/classes for your hobbies. Maybe take a dance class?
5. Look at all your blog responses. You have so many friends a mouse click away!

Love ya! This too shall pass!

willmottfamily said...

Woopsey. "Got" there. Not go.

willmottfamily said...

wow, lots of typos. Oh well, you get the picture.

TimW8 said...

You could get up in Sac meeting and make an announcement, "Brothers and sisters if any of you want to be my friend, please meet me in the cultural hall after church." That should work.

Anonymous said...

Just make your kids go out and knock on the doors for you. Then they look stupid not you

Alysa . . . . and Reed said...

I can feel your pain! It's hard in our situation, b/c being older w/out kids, is a rare situation in our ward, so I have had to make friends with people WITH kids and learn to love their kids too. We love you Amanda! Over time, as you get involved and do all of those things suggested above about getting involved, you will find people to have things in common with!